Who’s this cat.

Myles is the name, smooth operation’s the game. When he’s not poolside at Centreparks modelling non-ironic sunglasses Myles stays up well into the witching hour swiping left with his pussy finger while writing seamless code into complex computational systems.

It didn’t always come easy.

At school Myles displayed a dearth of motor-neurone activity and was demoted to basic woodwork. He would stare blankly into the middle-distance as the teacher completed the entry-level shelving unit required to pass his exams, which he did, scraping through with a B in attendance.

Myles has made up for lost time.

Lamentably for the ladies he is a kept man. Myles ingeniously fabricated an obsession with house cats and hoodwinked his current beau off-tinder and into a romantic tete à tete. Here they are on their second date, she still none the wiser.

You’d be right in noticing the alarm on the kitten’s face. Tragically, flashbacks from his woodworking days lead Myles to unconsciously grip living things with an unnatural aggression. In evidence below his nephew can be seen fighting for breath as Myles styles out the photo while applying slow steady pressure to the back of the newborn’s neck.

But staring into the pixelated glow of his Samsung 49″ G9T Odyssey Gaming Monitor Myles come alive. Myles built the entire dropthebeatonit website on a toilet-break. He’s good at what he does and knows it. An algorithm assassin, a magician of the monitor. He takes your vague design ramblings and comes back with one long lucid screen daydream. Not unlike the chosen hue of his favourite smart casual summer jacket, Google Hangouts with Myles are like being splashed by straight-from-the-source Volvic in a non-erotic but no less enjoyable manner.

I’d give you his contact details so you could solicit him for some coding fine-art but à la Jason Bourne, Myles leaves no trace. When you think you’ve got him in your sights, just like that…

… he’s gone.

Myles is an absolute gee, and herein is an ode to the man of the hour. If you want to send compliments his way regarding the freshness of the site, you go through me, I give my life for that man.